Working out my own salvation

My mom & dad got saved when I was around 2 years old, consequently I was raised in the church and had a Christian upbringing. 

I cannot fault my mom and dad and my childhood was idyllic. 

As I became a teenager I started feeling, quite simply, like I didn’t measure up to all of those ‘perfect’ looking Christians that I came across in church. 

Of course this was just my teenage perception. 

I always felt like I messed up, no matter how hard I tried and I just couldn’t be like all the other kids in my church youth group.

The more I knew I shouldn’t do something, the more I would do it.

I was definitely what you would describe as a rebellious teenager.

I would go round and round in circles, behaving in a way which was not ‘Christ-like’ then feeling awful guilt and shame that I felt I couldn’t share with anyone. 

This cycle continued until I eventually came to the conclusion that I could no longer be a Christian.

It was too hard!

I was attempting the Christian walk in my own strength and failing miserably.

I had not discovered for myself the real power of the cross; of Jesus’ forgiveness, grace and mercy. 

A lot happened in the years following and these ‘in between’ times are definitely for another blog post. 😊

What I didn’t realise at the time was that I was living my salvation out through my mom and dad. 

Philippians 2:12 tells us to ‘work out your own salvation with fear and trembling’. 

Eventually I did this. 

I got on my knees, asked God for His forgiveness in complete repentance and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.

I realised that I could do nothing apart from God and that He was essential to my life.

I came to realise that it is only by His grace (unmerited favour) that we can stand before Him, faultless & blameless. 

So, yes, the Christian walk is hard,  but only when you’re striving to live as a Christian in your own strength. 

In fact, its near on impossible. 

In any area of weakness in our life, God is stronger.

Amen 

2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

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