Fearless Faith

One of my natural personality traits is that I have a tendency to be a bit of a ‘people pleaser’. I have never been fond of saying ‘no‘ to people as it makes me feel like I’m letting them down. I really don’t like to offend people either and I would often find myself ‘teetering’ around difficult individuals, so as not to upset them. The thought of not being liked would plague me and I would worry about what people thought of me. The pressure to ‘please’ was immense and I would strive to ensure that people liked me.

This proved to be a deadly trap for me, as no matter how hard I tried to please people, there would always be someone that didn’t like me. I realised that I would never be able to please everyone and no matter how nice I was and how good my intentions were, there would always be the potential to ‘rub people up the wrong way’ and cause offence, even when I didn’t mean to.

Proverbs 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.

I wanted to be free from this fear of man and I recognised that it was hindering me in my walk with God and stopping me from moving forward into the things that God had called me to do. I was always so worried that people would look at me and think, “Who does she think she is?” I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about me.

I asked God to help me with this area of ‘people pleasing’ and was given the revelation that when I put my trust and confidence in God, I discovered security and a safe place of complete acceptance. People can be fickle and cast judgment but God is the only one that could ever know our hearts true intentions.

Have you been through something similar? Would love to know.

Blessings,

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86 thoughts on “Fearless Faith

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  1. Oh yeah, the need for approval is huge, to say “sure, I’d be glad to” and get lots of “likes” on Facebook. It took me years to figure out that the only approval I need is God’s. And yet I still say “yes” too often and want those “likes.”

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  2. Ohhhh! People pleasing … me as well. Being a teacher has cured me of it a bit. Trying to please every parent and every voice out there just made everyone miserable. My best moments in life have always been as you say, those where I determined to keep my confidence and trust in God. Enjoyed this post.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Flávio Gikovate, a Brazilian psychiatrist medic, says there are people with a generous character and there are people of character selfish. And being generous with a selfish one only reinforces the selfish attitude.
    The generous person must learn to set limits for himself and others who do not respect him.

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      1. ps.
        The generous has scruples, seeks to create connection and help others, for this, puts himself in the place of the other and feels, as if it were the other, and feels guilt and remorse. But the egoist feels no guilt and no remorse only manipulates the situation in his favor, has no scruples.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I wanted to love but I was afraid
        And I wanted to save my heart.
        But love knows a secret.
        Fear can kill your heart.

        Water to drink
        Drinking water camara
        Water to drink
        Drinking water camara

        I’ve never done thing so sure
        I entered to school of pardon
        My house lives open
        I opened every door of my heart.

        Water to drink
        Drinking water camara
        Water to drink
        Drinking water camara

        (translation for entertainment only)

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I love how I’ve never seen this verse until now, everything you shared I can completely relate to! I’ve been a Christian for 8 years and the last few years I’ve been trapped in a few snares, the Lord is teaching me and this post was a confirmation for me. THANK YOU ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Amen! I’ve wanted to please past friends that I would let them use me for their confidant, and drain me till I felt defeated. They wanted encouragement, but never push themselves to make different choices in their life that would benefit them. Eventually, God encouraged me to be honest about my feelings and cut off the friendships. Of course, they didn’t take well to it, and one even went on social media trying to bash me as a believer. “I never thought she would do that because she’s a Christian.” The same person who told me she knew she took advantage of me. People not knowing me also talked about how bad of a friend I was, not knowing my name. That was a hard night, but I held my tongue. Those who knew me knew the truth.

    I’ve learned if we speak with honesty if anyone comes against us all they speak are lies. I’ve also learned not to let my pearls be trampled under. It’s rough sometimes, but Christ wants us to shake off

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    1. Oh bless you, T.R. that must’ve been awful for you! To be slandered in such a way on social media when you know you’ve done nothing wrong is very tough. The Lord is your defender though and every word that will be used against you, will be brought down to nothing.
      I have been in similar situations, where the friendship was toxic and have had to cut people from my life who were simply draining me of all energy. It was a difficult time but God is so faithful and I’m so pleased that I made the right decision.
      I now have a wonderful group of friends around me where we encourage one another.
      Hugs, Hayley 🤗❤️

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Amen!!! It was quite a lot back then, but God has given me new friends throughout the years, some because I’ve moved I don’t keep in touch with as much, it’s a lot easier hanging out when you live closer haha. But He’s strengthened the people around me, and I’m very grateful and thankful for that. 🙂 I’m glad you are surround by friends who lift you up. 🙂 Hugs!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. My people pleasing was built around being afraid to say no and not realizing that saying no meant I was saying yes to something else and often the something else held more value for me.

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  7. This has pretty much been my life. Excessively replaying conversations because that one thing I said may have come off wrong or possibly been hurtful. Feeling as if I am responsible to cheer up everyone I come into contact with, including a sad person I pass on the street. Not confronting real issues in the lives of friends because I’m so afraid to “displease” them or experience any sort of tension. God has done and is doing a big work in my life regarding this. One of the most helpful resources was the book “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Reading that book really opened my eyes to how much I lived in fear and made decisions based on the desire to please–and the guilt that happened if I didn’t please! It’s still a struggle for me, but I have more tools now when I sense that cycle beginning. In fact, just today I had to “talk to myself” internally, reminding myself that I cannot cheer up my husband or change how he feels, but I can encourage and love him. When I remember that, I’m able to truly and freely love people. Not sure if that makes sense in words, but it certainly does in action in my life. Thanks for sharing this! I will pray God continues to guide you as you walk through this. Blessings!

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    1. I can so relate to everything you just said and can picture myself saying and doing all those things you described.
      Love how you said,
      “I cannot cheer up my husband or change how he feels, but I can encourage and love him. When I remember that, I’m able to truly and freely love people.”
      That has just spoke straight to my heart and I will remember that next time I get the feeling that I am responsible for making people happy. Thank you. 😊
      I will definitely have to read that book too!
      You are a blessing and an encouragement.
      Much love, Hayley 😊💕

      Liked by 1 person

  8. When I was much younger, you know those teen years when you’re not real sure who you are? During that time the Lord made me to realize He is the only one I should be concerned about pleasing. Some will like it, some won’t. But ultimately, if He is pleased with me that is all that matters. Not that others’ opinions cannot still hurt but they won’t cripple or destroy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right! The Lord is the only One we should be concerned with pleasing. Everything slots into place when we are in order and placing God first.
      I love how you said, “Not that others’ opinions cannot still hurt but they won’t cripple or destroy.”
      I found that to be true in my own life.
      Thank you for sharing,
      Hayley 😊💕

      Liked by 1 person

  9. In that first paragraph, you could have been talking about me. For the longest while, I could not say no. and my life was ruled by “what would they say”? Our God is gracious and oh so patient. No praise the Lord, I share with our girls how to recognize the signs of being a people pleaser. Rather we should Col. 3:23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to me. Great post

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it can be tough, I totally get that. I still struggle at times with people pleasing but I think being aware of these tendencies is the first step to deliverance and healing. Got to keep taking it to God every time.
      Blessings, Hayley 😊💕

      Liked by 1 person

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